GEMMA Collins has revealed that she hid her self harming secret because she feared she’d be “locked up forever”.
The 41-year-old will take an emotional look into her past to raise awareness in her upcoming Channel 4 documentary, Gemma Collins: Self-Harm & Me.
Now in a new teaser for her upcoming one-off, viewers see the TV star admitting she never spoke about her self-harming battle because she was scared she would be sent to a “mental asylum” for the rest of her life.
Gemma explained that she would wear long sleeves to hide the marks on her arms so teachers and friends never found out.
The TV star said: “I hid it so well. I didn’t do it every day or every week – it was every couple of months.
“But when I did do it, I knew how to cover it up. When I felt pressured I just would cut myself and feel fine again. It was always on my arm and I would feel like the stress had gone.
“But I never ever understood why I did it. People don’t self-harm because they want to kill themselves. It’s really complex.”
Gemma admitted that she kept silent about her mental health out of fear that she’d be locked up.
“When I was growing up you didn’t talk about your problems or aired your dirty laundry in public,” she continued.
“So when I started self-harming I couldn’t tell anyone because I was thinking I’m going to get locked up, not going to see my family or friends and I’m going to be in a mental asylum my whole life.”
She went onto say that she never spoke about her self-harming battle because she “was scared”.
“I was getting overwhelming emotion and I couldn’t cope with it,” Gemma is heard saying. “It’s something that I’ve buried for 20 years”.
Speaking with her mother Joan in another scene, the former Towie star admits: “It’s not like a normal conversation you can have with someone.
“I never told anyone because it was shameful, I was scared. I wish I were brave enough to ask for the help.
“I could’ve saved myself a lot of pain.”
Gemma shared a candid trailer on her Instagram and wrote alongside the clip: “I’m so proud of my new documentary Gemma Collins: Self Harm and Me coming to @channel4 next Wednesday 16th February at 9pm.
“I’m revealing a side of me I’ve previously kept very private. It has been hard and emotional to talk about, but it’s so important we open up about these things more and encourage others to get help if they need it.”
