IT was claimed this week that Prince William is set to drop the royal policy of “never complain, never explain”.
I’m not sure this is a good idea. We all remember what happened with Prince Andrew.
There were all sorts of whispered rumours about his relationship with the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, but instead of ignoring them, he decided to explain himself in a TV interview with Emily Maitlis. Which went well.
Because afterwards, the whispered rumours became huge rumbling shouts and he ended up giving £12million to a woman he claims he’d never met.
Politicians know what I’m on about. When they’re caught with the hand in the till or a girlfriend’s knickers, they don’t just put their heads down and go back to work.
They always decide to explain themselves and that always makes everything worse.
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This week, President Biden actually managed to string a whole sentence together, and said Putin should not be in power.
However, as this is a total diplomatic no-no, his aides immediately rushed in front of the cameras to say that what the doddery old fool meant to say was that Putin should not be in power . . . in Ukraine.
It was a hopeless excuse which made them look stupid.
And talking of stupid, Matt Hancock. Only last month he donned an unwise polo-necked jumper and took part in an interview about the affair he’d had while the rest of us were hiding from Covid, under the stairs.
And there is literally no one on earth who watched that and thought, “Oh yeah. He’s a nice guy. He should get his job back.”
I’ve been there. A few years ago, a newspaper claimed I’d used the N-word and I was furious because of course I hadn’t.
So I took to social media, flapping and squawking about my innocence and it was like pouring petrol on the fire.
I’ve learned that there’s nowhere on God’s green earth more expensive than the moral high ground. And Prince William needs to understand that as well.
Kick furniture
Because if he comes out like a whirling Dervish every time someone says something horrible about his wife’s frock or his brother’s new tattoo, he’s going to look pathetic and foolish.
I appreciate that when he and his wife were roundly criticised for being too colonial on their recent trip to the Caribbean, he must have been squirming with rage.
He’d only done what the job requires him to do. And now every- one was shouting at him.
Well, your Princeness, here’s my suggestion.
Go into a quiet corner and spend some time kicking furniture to get it out of your system, because if you shout back, it’ll cost you your dignity and us, just maybe, the Royal Family itself.
Rishi’s petrol tanks
WHEN Rishi Sunak invited photographers to watch him filling up his car with petrol and then actually paying for it, most commentators noticed that he plainly had no idea how credit card machines work.
Not me, though. I was much more concerned by the fact that the car he’d filled up was a humble Kia Rio.
I didn’t believe that Rishi, the richest man in government, would drive a Kia, so I did some checking. And it turns out, he doesn’t.
He actually has a Golf. Well that’s what he says in interviews. But he also has a Range Rover.
Come on, man. Why hide it? If you’re happy to be seen swanning around in a pair of £335 Italian shoes, why not admit you have some serious wheels?
It’s not a crime you know.
