NICE of the royals to take our minds off this virus, isn’t it? You can’t say they don’t do their bit to help.
Like everyone else, I wish we could film the Queen wandering around each family member, saying: “OK, Anne, was it you who asked about the colour of Archie’s skin? Come on, out with it.
Follow our Piers Morgan live blog for the latest on his GMB exit…
“You know what you’re like when you’ve had a few.”
Mind you, there is an irony in an allegation of racism made by someone married to a bloke who dressed up in Nazi uniform, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Much as there is an irony in a bloke like Harry moaning about colonialism when he was in Afghanistan with our Armed Forces.
That Oprah Winfrey interview wasn’t an interview.
It was a series of carefully rehearsed scenes designed to cause as much damage as possible to the Royal Family.
I have no time for either of them and, truth be told, I don’t think Piers Morgan went far enough.
Nor do I think Meghan got rough treatment because she’s of mixed race.
We may have been unkindly towards her because she is a self-obsessed American.
Colour didn’t come into it.
But what of the rest of them? Liz, Phil the Greek, Dimbo Andrew, Edward the Hairless — and our next king, the bloke who talks to dahlias, old Jug Ears?
They’re not the brightest bunch on God’s earth, for sure.
And of course, there is something bizarre in having a head of state who is not allowed to govern. But instead just flits between a succession of palaces playing with her dogs.
And, in fairness, going out and saying to lots of people: “End hev you come faaaar?”
I’m mildly in favour of the monarchy only because it reaches back so far into history — and a country should always revere its history, no matter what the woke nutters insist.
But the monarchy should always be about duty, service and reserve.
HOLLYWOOD PARODY
The royals should behave as Liz and Phil have behaved this last 70 years. As a focus for public adoration, and always remaining aloof.
That is what being royal is about. Always remaining remote, stiff upper- lipped and above the fray.
Not getting involved in politics — that’s why we chopped King Charles’s head off.
That’s why you can’t modernise the monarchy, as some are now saying we must. The monarchy is itself a hugely outdated concept.
Get rid of it, by all means. But don’t turn it into a kind of Hollywood parody of itself.
This was Meghan’s mistake, I think.
She thought she was marrying into a kind of celebritydom, a bit like you might find in Beverly Hills.
No. It is all about discipline, dignity, service and a reverence for our country.
The more touchy-feely the royals become, the less royal they seem.
And so there is far less of a point to them. They must be different to the rest of us, or there is no point in having them.
I think the public generally agrees with this — opinion polls suggest so.
The truth is that people who say the Royal Family must modernise are usually those people who, underneath, want to do away with it.
Megnarry are not the worst crisis in the history of our kings and queens.
Indeed, for every Queen Elizabeth (I and II), and Victoria, we’ve had several psychos, spendthrift serial shaggers, pre-fascist fascists, dribbling loons and syphilitic wretches.
But the monarchy has carried on, pretty much unchanging.
Change it now and you may as well do away with it.
