AFTER Prince Andrew was interviewed by Emily Maitlis on Newsnight, it’s said he walked out of the room thinking it had gone pretty well.
Soon, of course, every single person in the country told him that, actually, it hadn’t gone well at all. He’d come across as shifty and completely out of touch.
And guess what? I’m told he STILL thinks he did pretty well. Even after the Queen turned him back into normal old Mr Windsor, he believes that he’s right and absolutely everyone else is wrong.
Which is why, I presume, Andrew, decided to elect for a trial by jury in this whole sordid sex abuse business.
He really believes that having convinced everyone in Britain of his innocence, all he has to do now is use his charm and intellect to convince 12 Americans that he had no part to play in the terrible Jeffrey Epstein saga.
His lawyers must be sitting in their offices now, gently banging their foreheads on their desks while saying over and over: “Please God, no.”
I bet it’s a similar story behind the scenes at the Palace.
Of course, it is entirely possible he’s innocent, in which case we can understand his pain and frustration.
It may well be that he kindly agreed to have a selfie with the young Virginia Roberts and that now he feels the kindness is being thrown back in his face, with warts on.
But righteous indignation is a dangerous thing.
I once reviewed a book I’d written, saying that instead of buying it, you’d be better off flushing your money down the lavatory. I was right to say this. It was a terrible book and I thought people should know.
But the publisher disagreed and sued.
And very quickly I discovered that there is nowhere as expensive on God’s green earth as the moral high ground.
I was right in all the ways that matter but wrong in the eyes of the law.
And that is Andrew’s problem. If he’s innocent, he will feel aggrieved and angry and will want to stand there in court, telling everyone who’ll listen.
But he’s Andrew. He has the PR skills of a wasp and the intelligence of a dishwasher. I fear therefore he will make a hash of it.
I don’t really mind that he’s on course to make a massive fool of himself.
But when he does this, he will also make a fool of the Royal Family, which is annoying.
Because then there will be calls to replace them with a presidency.
And look how well that idea worked out for the Americans.
Who, last time around, were given the choice of a narcissist with nylon hair and a man who, in every way that mattered, was dead.
A GERMAN man who was working from home fell over and broke his back while walking from his bed to his desk.
But it’s OK because a court has decided he can claim on his workplace insurance as he was technically “commuting”.
And who says the Germans don’t have a sense of humour.
Jackass jacket, anyone?
WHEN you see a girl walking down the street with her skirt tucked into her knickers, do you tell her?
It’s always been the great dilemma and now two Dutch designers have come up with a new one. A jacket with shoulder pads that are above your ears.
See someone in that and you’ll be stuffed, wondering whether you should or should not say: “Er, miss, I think you forgot to take the coat hanger out.”
Elon’s tips on space
A ROCKET booster, built by a company that Elon Musk founded, has spent the past seven years tumbling out of control in space.
And now, telescope enthusiasts have worked out that on March 4 this four-ton projectile will crash into the moon at 5,770mph.
Nasa says this is “interesting but not a big deal”.
Well, sorry to interrupt, Mr Egghead, but I think it kind of is a big deal.
Elon Musk makes a lot of noise about how his electric Tesla cars are helping to save the planet, which is all very laudable.
But some of the eco-sheen is lost when we learn he’s about to leave four tonnes of litter on the moon.
