Prince Harry’s too dense to realise that Brits actually loved him

PRINCE Harry’s honeymoon in America is officially over.

“I guess we as Americans,” says Kevin Roberts, head of the Heritage Foundation think tank, “we see Prince Harry the same way you see President Biden.”



Prince Harry’s too dense to realise that Brits actually loved him
Prince Harry’s honeymoon in America is officially over

Prince Harry’s too dense to realise that Brits actually loved him
Harry was protected, respected and loved in the UK like other royals in a way that he will never be in the US

As bad as that?

“You can have Harry back,” insists Roberts. “We don’t like him being in America and we would love for him to come back to you or somewhere.”

Harry has a problem. In his mouthy autobiography, Spare, he was very open about his use of cannabis, cocaine and magic mushrooms. And no doubt the fiery redhead thought he was being daringly outspoken.

But US immigration laws quite clearly state that any foreigner “determined to be a drug abuser” is classed as “inadmissible”. And the Americans take this stuff deadly seriously.

It is why the late, great Amy Winehouse was not allowed into the United States at the peak of her popularity.

The US Government is refusing to disclose details of Harry’s American visa application, despite a freedom of information request.

Was Harry quite so daringly outspoken about his drug use on his US visa application as he was in his book? If Harry was truthful — as his flunkies claim — then how come he gets to live in California when Amy Winehouse was not even permitted a fleeting visit to pick up her Grammy Awards?

This is not going to go away.

Some Americans really hate the implication that a pampered English prince is getting special treatment.

And Harry is increasingly perceived on the far side of the Atlantic as a man who has been spoiled rotten all his life.

Flapping cakehole

There was furious disbelief when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex loftily commanded Backgrid, a paparazzi agency, to hand over their photos of an allegedly “near catastrophic” car chase.

“In America, property belongs to the owner of it,” Backgrid were reported as snapping back. “Third parties cannot just demand that it be given to them, as perhaps kings can do.

“English rules of royal prerogative to demand that the citizenry hand over their property to the Crown were rejected by this country long ago. We stand by our founding fathers.”

Harry was tolerated in America when he confined his activities to having his boots licked by superstar sycophants like Oprah Winfrey and James Corden, or standing proudly by Meghan’s side as she collected another award for saving humanity.

But Harry can’t chuck his weight around in the land of the free. Harry can’t act all hoity-toity when American paparazzi treat him like just another multi-millionaire celebrity.

And although it is his only selling point, he can’t, ironically, act like royalty.

It is impossible to not see Harry’s current woes as self-inflicted.

His reckless boast about killing 25 Taliban in Afghanistan will not be forgotten or forgiven in certain quarters.

Harry’s security, and the security of his family, will have to be of increased concern for the rest of his life, simply because he could not restrain his big, flapping, narcissistic cakehole.

Harry has been at legal loggerheads with the Home Office about his security when he visits the UK.

But if he had stayed home, his security would never have been an issue that needed to be discussed.

Because Harry was protected, respected and loved in the UK in a way that he will never be in the US.

What a shame he is too thick to see it.

Tina’s among giants



Prince Harry’s too dense to realise that Brits actually loved him
Tina Turner did what only the greatest musical icons do

TINA Turner, who has died at the age of 83, did what only the greatest musical icons do.

She broke down barriers. Elvis did it. So did Prince and Bowie.

And Tina did it too.

Musical barriers, cultural barriers, racial barriers, age barriers.

Uniquely among the giants of modern music, most of Tina’s greatest hits were in her middle years.

Tina survived her brutal marriage to Ike and – at an age when most musical figures are in decline – reinvented herself as a stadium-filling superstar.

Tamla Motown took black music into the global mainstream.

So did Tina.

What a life. What a pair of legs. What a musical legacy.

We will remember it all, especially that fabulous smile.

Film goddesses no longer carry the Cannes



Prince Harry’s too dense to realise that Brits actually loved him
When Heidi Klum glows on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival, she is in a tradition that goes all the way back to the Fifties

Prince Harry’s too dense to realise that Brits actually loved him
Sex symbols like Brigette Bardot and the Cannes Film Festival were always a good fit

WHEN Heidi Klum glows on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival, she is in a grand tradition that goes all the way back to the Fifties and the teenage Brigitte Bardot.

Sex symbols and the Cannes Film Festival were always a good fit.

But when Bardot rocked up at Cannes, she invariably had a film to promote – most famously, And God Created Woman in 1956.

You can’t help noticing that Heidi Klum doesn’t actually have a movie to promote.

And neither do models Eva Herzigova, Jasmine Tookes, Gigi Hadid, Ashley Graham, Irina Shayk and Izabel Goulart.

Neither do singer Nicole Scherzinger, or socialite Kimberley Garner, or TV presenter Maya Jama. But they all went to Cannes.

That’s what has changed about Cannes since Bardot was smiling for the cameras back in 1956.

Sex symbols once went to the festival to promote their films.

Now they go to promote nothing but themselves.

A long list of greats



Prince Harry’s too dense to realise that Brits actually loved him
Mixed reviews for Harrison Ford in his fifth and final outing as everyone’s favourite whip-cracking, fedora-wearing archaeologist

MIXED reviews for Harrison Ford in his fifth and final outing as everyone’s favourite whip-cracking, fedora-wearing archaeologist.

But if I stay away from Indiana Jones and the Dial Of Destiny it will not be because of lousy reviews. It will be because it has a running time of two hours and 34 minutes.

Why are modern films ALWAYS too long?

Fair enough if the long film is also a great film. It’s worth it if you are going to see Gone With The Wind or The Godfather or Heat.

But the fifth Indiana Jones film?

Maybe not so much.

Ed view one to tackle



Prince Harry’s too dense to realise that Brits actually loved him
A woman can ‘quite clearly’ have a penis, reckons Sir Ed Davey

ONE of my earliest memories is leafleting for the old Liberal Party during a General Election.

My father hated both the Tories and Labour.

Dad despised the Tories as the party of big business.

Dad hated Labour as the party of big trade unions.

He was a Liberal by default.

I thought of my father this week when Ed Davey, Lib Dem leader, was sharing his thoughts on gender.

A woman can “quite clearly” have a penis, reckons Sir Ed.

I don’t know where Dad would have shoved Ed Davey’s leaflets.

Probably not up his letterbox.

In fact, I think my dad would have thought that Ed Davey is, quite clearly, a penis.

Scary, Steve

STEPHEN KINNOCK, shadow immigration minister, says that latest figures prove the Government has “lost control” of immigration.

Kinnock is dead right.

Net migration was at 606,000 for the year ending December 2022.

That’s nearly three times the pre-Brexit average. That’s the population of Sheffield. In one year.

Now that’s what I call taking back control! And the truly scary thing is, does anyone think it would be better under Mr Kinnock’s lot?