REMEMBER Kate Middleton’s Uncle Gary and his “Maison de Bang Bang” cocaine scandal?
He’s behaving himself these days but perhaps the unedifying experience means his niece is now well placed to advise her husband on his own naughty uncle issues?
It’s been reported that Prince William was very much instrumental in getting “Uncle Andrew” erased from the public elements of the Order of the Garter event at Windsor Castle yesterday, though, awkwardly, his name was still listed in the programme.
So, instead of using the occasion to re-enter the public life he reportedly craves, Andrew has become a modern-day version of Prince John — the youngest son of King George V whose epilepsy and possible autism saw him largely confined to a hidden life on the Sandringham estate before his death from a severe seizure at the age of 14.
Andrew’s “condition” is one of poor judgment rather than poor health, but the similarity lies in a hidden life — in his case, a rather ghostly looking figure seen driving around the Windsor estate where he continues to enjoy the palatial surroundings of his home, Royal Lodge.
His centre-stage appearance at his father Prince Philip’s memorial can perhaps be explained away as a concerned son escorting his grieving mother to her seat. Fair enough.
READ MORE ON PRINCE ANDREW
But any notion he held that this would ease him back into official events and a restoration of his titles appears to have been swiftly quashed by the firm intervention of kings-in-waiting Charles and William.
What started as a gentle, “We need to talk about Andrew” with his devoted mother has perhaps now morphed into, “Let us deal with Andrew” as Her Majesty’s frailty increases.
Andrew has repeatedly denied any wrongdoing but, whatever the truth, he fraternised with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein and ended up paying a reported £12million to a woman he claims he never met.
Not a good look, by any standards.
What’s more, he has shown zero remorse for the events and behaviour that led to his fall from grace and, by all accounts, feels he should be parachuted back into a prestigious public role as soon as possible.
He has long had a reputation for arrogance and rudeness, and it seems we can now add lack of self-awareness to that list.
Last week, the sale of his Swiss chalet was frozen when yet another debtor came forward to claim he owes them £1.6million.
This follows the experience of Isabelle de Rouvre who, having sold him the chalet for £18million in 2014, ended up having to sue him over a £6million debt.
She says now: “It was a horrible experience.
“I do not understand how he operates and I feel very sorry for people who are involved with him in business.
“He is an absolute fool and I just cannot understand how he goes about his life.”
The answer, perhaps, is that the “spare” to the heir has been overindulged his whole life and it’s gone to his head.
When he was a working royal and moving in wealthy circles, The Queen’s “favourite son” used his status as currency to get what he wanted, perhaps assuming no one would ever dare to question his behaviour or call in their debt.
But now he’s simply the tainted and virtually unemployable ninth-in-line to the throne and his chickens are coming home to roost.
Maison de Bang Bang — still owned by “Uncle Gary” and now renamed Villa Tesoro de Oro — is available for rent.
Perhaps Andrew should check himself in for a period of reflection and regrowth?
A FEW HOME TRUTHS
WHEN Paul McGee made a trip home to the UK from China, his Shenzhen-based girlfriend Rachel Waters took to social media when he failed to return as planned or even get in touch.
Turned out he’d neglected to mention he had a wife and three kids in Norwich.
It reminds me of the time my friend’s husband was regularly “working away” and, during one of their phone chats when he was supposedly in his rented flat alone, she heard a young child walk into the room and say, “Daddy”.
Turned out he’d been doing a lot more than just working away from home.
Needless to say, they’re now divorced.
ROWDY CHILDREN ON A SUGAR HIGH? IT’S A MUGS GAME
MIKE TINDALL has a theory on why Prince Louis came close to outshining grandma with his wriggling, gurning and raspberry-blowing at the Jubilee celebrations.
He says the royal kids were on a “sugar high” after eating too many sweets.
But several medical studies have already disproved the supposed link between sugar and behaviour.
So, in Louis’s case, may I suggest another theory?
It’s the classic antics of a youngest child whose exhausted parents rarely have the energy to impose the same boundaries they instilled in their firstborn.
In fact, if any of the Cambridges’ friends are stuck for Christmas presents to buy them, they could do worse than the set of mugs someone bought our three daughters with the following slogans . . .
“I’m the first child. I make the rules.”
“I’m the middle child. I’m the reason we have the rules.”
“I’m the last child. The rules don’t apply to me.”
