DENISE WELCH reveals there were times she should never have gone on screen after turning up to work without any sleep following all-night drink and drug sessions.
As the actress, who is currently appearing on BBC reality show Unbreakable, battled depression and struggled to cope with the pressure of a starring role as Natalie Barnes on Coronation Street, she became reliant on cocaine and alcohol.
Denise Welch reveals there were times she should never have gone on screen following all-night drink and drug sessions
Denise struggled with alcohol and cocaine addiction
New love – Denise with husband Lincoln
She said: “If I was away from home, I would be awake all night and go straight to work. That wouldn’t happen now on TV shows.
“There were times when I shouldn’t have even been on. But it was a different time.”
The Loose Women regular got the Coronation Street job in 1997 when her eldest son Matty Healy was eight.
She said: “My drinking really started to be a problem during the Coronation Street times. I had always loved a party.
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“But that was getting p***ed on a Saturday night and feeling rough on a Sunday. I didn’t have a problem.
“When I was doing Corrie it was watched by 21million people an episode. That is a third of the country. There is a lot of f***ing pressure on you for that.
“The schedule was unforgiving. Rather than stay off work — people stay off if they’ve lost an eyelash these days — I was from ‘the show must go on’ school.
“There were times when I think I should have stepped back. If I’d had a liver disease or something, everyone would have felt sorry for me.
“But the horrible isolating thing about depression is you have an invisible illness. And that is when the alcohol started and that is when the drugs started.
“There are no excuses for my behaviour. But there are reasons for it.
“My problem with alcohol dependency was trying to numb my illness.”
Bravely opening up on Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe’s Parenting Hell podcast, Denise explains how she first experienced postnatal depression following the birth of Matty, the son she shares with ex-husband of 24 years, Auf Wiedersehen, Pet actor Tim Healy, 70.
She has since battled episodes of severe depression and says she has “self- medicated” with drugs and booze.
Denise and her son Matty as a child
Denise with ex-husband, actor Tim Healy
Denise, who was in Corrie for three years and has also had roles in Soldier, Soldier, Waterloo Road and Hollyoaks, admits her addictions had an impact on rock star Matty.
Now 33 and lead singer of pop-rock band The 1975, he has also openly talked about his own addictions to heroin and cocaine.
She said: “It obviously had a big impact on Matty’s childhood and my marriage — on everything.
“There were always people there. The boys started their band in the garage.
“I would wake up to do Loose Women and step over people in the kitchen on the floor and Matty would go, ‘This is such and such’.
“It was a party house and Matty accepts a lot of who he is, is because of that.
“Cocaine is the worst drug, that lies to you, that cripples you, that takes away your moral compass — that only makes you feel good for 40 minutes. But unfortunately I became very, very reliant on it.”
Horrible and isolating
Denise told the podcast she was a “binge alcoholic” and was never drunk during the school run.
She explained: “I wasn’t the kind of alcoholic that opened the cupboard in the morning, took out a bottle of vodka and put it in a cup and drank it.
“I was a binge alcoholic, I wasn’t drinking in the day. It was the hangover from the night before.
“My life was split between being at home and acting. I was away from home a lot. I wasn’t always with Matty.
“There were things that Matty would point out to me, what I’d said and done, that I would be defensive about because I didn’t remember.”
As Denise’s depression started after her first pregnancy, she and Tim waited 12 years before having their second son Louis, now 21, in 2001.
Denise said: “I had always planned on having more but we didn’t for that very reason.
“And Tim was very worried about that. He was 50 then.
“He always said, ‘I lost my wife.’ He married this happy-go-lucky person and he lost me for a long period of time.
“People say, ‘Did you get depressed after Louis?’ I had subsequent episodes of depression — mine never stopped — but the good times far outweighed the bad times. Also, 12 years on I knew how to get through them easier.
“Thank God we had Louis. I was OK. And I have had a wonderful life living with clinical depression.
“It is the most horrendous, isolating, crippling illness. But my life in between has been fantastic.”
Opening up on the podcast, she revealed that ditching drink and drugs is one of her proudest life moments.
She said: “Sobriety is the thing I am most proud of. Not just for the life it’s given me — it is for the life it has given my boys.” She met her current husband, contemporary artist Lincoln Townley, 49, a decade ago in a nightclub.
Now the pair are starring in the BBC One reality show where six celebrity couples take part in a series of emotional, mental and physical challenges designed to prove their devotion to each other.
Denise said: “I never thought I’d meet someone in my fifties, certainly not in a nightclub at six in the morning. He is the person I want to be with more than anyone else. My motto is, ‘It is never too late’.
“It is never too late to find the love of your life. It is never too late to change your behaviour. To leave a partner you are not happy with, for both your sakes.
“At my granny’s age they said, ‘You’ve made your bed and you’ve got to lie in it’.
“You haven’t got to any more. You’ve not even got to make your bed!”
Denise says she has not had an episode of depression since September 19, 2019 — the first time in 33 years she has gone three years without one.
But she added: “I am sure it will come back at some point.
“One of the triggers I have to watch is being overwhelmed. It is not big overwhelming things — like when both my parents were sick — it is an over-packed diary. Inconsequential things. And thinking ahead.
“Lincoln will make me stop and remove as much as possible out of my diary.”
Denise has always been open about her depression and the need to stamp out the stigma surrounding mental health problems.
But when she first revealed she had the disorder, in an interview with the local paper from her home city of Newcastle when Matty was 18 months old, some people were horrified.
She said: “My agent at the time said, ‘Oh darling you’ve made a huge mistake here. You should not be talking about your madness, you’ll never work again.’
“Woman’s Hour picked up the story and I hadn’t realised I was the only person on the telly talking about this. I was determined. People said, ‘Did you lose work because of it?’
“But I didn’t want to work for people who would not give me work because I was vocal about having a mental illness. I made it a mission to talk about it.
“I am grateful for the chance to talk about it. People always try to pin clinical depression on some previous trauma.
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“But postnatal — you have just passed a human through your foo-foo. There are going to be some hormonal changes — chemical chaos. People think those who are previously anxious or low are the people who need looking after.
“But I was blooming in pregnancy. The only reason I am still here is because I had a loving and supportive family.”
- If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, Mind (mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393) can offer support.
Denise playing Corrie’s Natalie Barnes in 1998
Denise and Lincoln, far left, on Unbreakable
