iCarly star Jennette McCurdy has branded her past acting career as “pointless and shallow”.
The 28-year-old confirmed last week that she has quit Hollywood for good and said she “resented” being a child star.
Jennette shot to fame playing vlogger Sam Puckett on iCarly for six seasons opposite the show’s star, Carly Shay (Miranda Cosgrave).
She reflected on her career on her Empty Inside podcast this week, saying she felt “ashamed” to be playing a role she didn’t believe in and felt she was “living a lie”.
“I was a famous 19-year-old and making a bunch of money, and I felt like I had everything at my fingertips,” Jennette said.
“But I was deeply unhappy, and I actually really resented my life because I didn’t like the projects that I was a part of.”
The Nickelodeon star went on: “It’s a difficult thing to say because the shows that I was on were so loved by so many people and so many kids.
“I hear constantly, ‘You made my childhood.’ And I think that’s great that they had that experience.
“But that just was not my experience, and I felt a lot of shame – that I wasn’t able to identify at the time – because I didn’t like waltzing onto an over-lit, cheesy set and shouting a line. It felt so pointless and shallow.”
Jennette played Sam Puckett until the show ended in 2012 and later reprised the role on Sam & Cat opposite Ariana Grande.
She admitted to feeling “very different from the character that I was playing” and said that discomfort led to an identity crisis.
“To be known globally for this thing that’s not really me, it was just like, What the f**k am I doing?” she said.
“How do I even find myself when I’m 19, and I’ve been famous for all the years that I would normally be stumbling through finding myself, yet I’m known as a thing that I’m not. It just was – ‘hellish,’ I think, is not too intense of a word.”
Jennette explained that her mother got her into acting and wanted her to keep pursuing a career in showbusiness.
When her mom died in 2013 from cancer, the star of Netflix’s Beyond – then 21 – decided she wanted to quit acting.
Jennette admitted her representation were not on board, telling her “I’d be crazy to leave”.
She recalled her managers saying: “How can you walk away from this? Are you kidding, do you have any idea how many people want you have?”
Jenette went on: “But it didn’t matter because I didn’t want it – it just wasn’t true to me.
“And walking away was really difficult, but it was something that I needed to do for my mental health and for my overall peace.
“And it was difficult. I didn’t know what to do with myself when I didn’t have things that always dictated my identity around anymore.”
The former actress is now pursuing other career paths, including writing, directing and making podcasts.
“I’m living a life that’s in accordance with who I am, and that feels a million times better,” she said.
A reboot of iCarly was announced last year by Paramount+.
Some of the original cast, including Miranda Cosgrove and Jerry Trainor, who played Carly’s older brother, Spencer, will be returning for the project.
