KATE Lawler has revealed she’ll never have another baby after her mental health plunged following the birth of daughter Noa.
The Virgin Radio presenter said she became so tired she started hallucinating and babbling within weeks of Noa entering the world.
But she resisted opening up about her feelings which led her having suicidal thoughts less than two months after Noa, who Kate shares with partner Boj, was born.
The former Big Brother star said: “I internalised a lot of my emotions. I just did it at the time because I didn’t want to feel like I was being dramatic.
“I mean, I did feel suicidal, but not until around six weeks. But I really thought it was just a case of the baby blues and we were just going through a bit of a tough time. I did spiral.”
Having to take Noa to A&E several times when she was a tiny baby even made Kate question whether her baby was “meant to be”.
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She added: “I was like, ‘She’s gonna die, she’s gonna die!’ and ‘Is she even meant to be here, Boj? What’s going on?
“Is something bad going to happen eventually? Is she meant to be taken away from us?’ I couldn’t help thinking that she might not… make it.
“Or that it was inevitable she was going to be taken away from us. I couldn’t help but feel that she wasn’t meant to be.”
Kate admitted she found looking after a newborn was “so mundane for me and monotonous and challenging and exhausting”.
She has now decided to take time off work as she is “done” with having babies and wants to spend quality time with Noa.
Talking about her decision to have no more children, she told the Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast: “I know I’m never going to do this again. I’m definitely done. I don’t want any more kids.”
“I can really focus on being a mum and taking some more time off work actually, which I’m about to do – to be with Noa and to just appreciate this time I have with her.
