Paul O’Grady opened up about his thoughts on death and revealed how he wanted to pass away

PAUL O’Grady once opened up about his thoughts on death and revealed how he wanted a pass away.

The British icon declared he was never frightened of dying – and wanted a quick passing to save his loved ones from having to watch him hang around ill.

The big-hearted, acid-tongued comic – who died “unexpectedly but peacefully” aged 67 yesterday – also joked he was turned away from heaven the night he was technically declared dead after he suffered the first of his three heart attacks.

With the same wit he deployed as his sharp-talking drag queen character Lily Savage, he added the snub from God left him convinced he was never going to be headed into an afterlife when it came time to snuff it.

Paul – whose parents were killed by cardiac conditions – said about his desire for a speedy death: “It’s not the actual dying, the final croak, that bothers me, it’s the speed of it.

“Will it come quickly? And will I know anything about it?

“Speaking from experience I’d favour a nice quick fatal heart attack over a long lingering death any day.

“I don’t want to rot, slowly, before my loved ones’ eyes. I’d rather make a quick exit.”

In 2020, at the age of 65, Paul opened up about having three heart attacks, kidney failure and a coronavirus scare behind him.

He suffered heart attacks in 2002, 2006 and 2014, and his parents both died of heart issues.

The comic-turned broadcaster, author and animal welfare campaigner added in the first volume of his autobiographies he developed a brutal belief there was no afterlife after his first cardiac arrest.

He said in his 2008 book At My Mother’s Knee… And Other Low Joints: “I’m not scared of dying, not in the least.

“After two heart attacks I suppose I’ve come pretty close, although I have to admit I’ve nothing profound to say about either experience other than that it’s thanks to the skill of the cardiologists, nurses and much-maligned NHS that I’m alive to tell the tale today.

“When I had the first heart attack I died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. 

“I’d like to oblige and reveal that before I was resuscitated I saw a long tunnel with an angel bathed in light at the end of it but I didn’t, or at least if I did I don’t remember.

“Which seems unlikely as I’m sure I’d remember seeing such an interesting Ziegfield Follies production as that.

‘HEAVEN’S UNWELCOME GATECRASHER’

“No, much as I would love to say it happened, the heavens did not put on a celestial light show for my arrival at the pearly gates that night in the ambulance. 

“Heaven, and I’m assuming it was heaven and not downstairs, was obviously invite-only that night and I was an unwelcome gatecrasher who was turned away.

“Maybe it’s true when they say your time is up or it isn’t; mine obviously wasn’t.

“All I can recall as I re-entered the land of the living is the paramedic shoving fizzy aspirins down my throat. Hardly something to crow about on Desert Island Discs.”

Paul added he hated to dwell on death, saying in his memoir: “I don’t know how I’ve managed to digress like this and get on to the subject of death. 

“It’s not something I care to dwell on unless it’s late at night and I’m sitting with a pal, maudlin drunk, recalling the friends we’ve buried.”

Paul, whose cause of death is yet to be revealed, added in his book he was left traumatised by his parents’ deaths.

His mum passed away in 1988, after his dad died in 1973.

DAD DIED OF A ‘BROKEN HEART’

And the comic believes his father getting the news his wife was sick pushed him into an early grave.

He said in his book: “My dad died in the early hours of the morning. He couldn’t face a life without my mother, and, thinking that she was dying, slipped away himself.

“The doctor said that if he could put the cause of death as ‘Broken heart’ on the death certificate he would have.”

He added about going back to his childhood home after his dad’s passing left him devastated and sitting on the stairs, wondering if he had somehow been responsible.

Paul said: “The house looked as it always did, only unnaturally quiet, my dad’s pipe sitting on the mantelpiece, his football coupon, untouched, on the arm of his chair.

“In the kitchen a mug and bowl were stacked neatly on the draining board, evidence of his last meal.

“I sat in the dark on the stairs, numb with shock. My father was dead. Hard to take in at that age – at any age, really. 

“I found the sudden sense of loss overwhelming. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, to thank him for, and now it was too late.

“Was it my fault he’d died? Had I bought on his heart attack?… I was more than a little worried that the shock of my father’s death might kill my mother, making me an orphan at 18… ‘Please God, let her get better and I’ll never be bad again’.”